Saturday, 21 May 2016

Mental Health Awareness Week: Top Relationships for David Cole

Note: my VLOG from day five of MHAW is here: https://youtu.be/ExzWQxiuOYc

By David Cole, CEO of Cygnet Healthcare, Twitter: @cygnetceo

#1
Name: I’m going to call him Tom
Why have you chosen this person? 
Because we have known each other for nearly 30 years and have only really ever disagreed about one thing.
Your relationship e.g. Mum, Cousin, friend, partner etc. :  
Close friend
How long have you known one another? 
29 years this year.
How did you first meet? 
We started as fairly new staff nurses together on the same ward on the same day in 1987.
What was your first thought/opinion on this person? 
Fun, confident, knowledgeable.
Has this changed? 
A bit. Seeing a friend go through a really tough time and feeling their vulnerabilities makes you see past what may seem like an outward confidence.
List three highlights from your relationship so far. 
Seeing each other’s children grow up; surviving changing family circumstances; knowing that he is stronger after a tough recent struggle
Has there been any low or difficult moments in your relationship? If yes, how have these been overcome? 
Finding out from a third party some years ago that he had gone through a very very bad experience that he felt unable to talk to me about at the time. The issue was clearly embarrassing for him, so I stayed silent on it until a more recent situation forced a very tough and honest conversation.
Do you have any differences of opinion, views or beliefs? If yes, what are they? 
The only thing we have ever disagreed about in all that time is Amy Winehouse (me for, him very much against)
List three things you have in common. 
A love of food, loud music, and a sense of the ridiculous.
Is there anything you're looking forward to with this person? 
We haven’t caught up in person for months and I’m looking forward to meeting up soon.
Describe this person with one word. 
Survivor
Write one sentence of something you would like to say to this person. 
I’m glad you’re still here, I was worried that you wouldn’t be.

#2
Name: Lee
Why have you chosen this person? 
He is the third point of a triangle that includes Tom and me.
Your relationship e.g. Mum, Cousin, friend, partner etc. :  
Friend
How long have you known one another? 
20 years this year
How did you first meet? 
We worked together when I first left the NHS and he had to hand over a project to me
What was your first thought/opinion on this person? 
That he was confident, likeable, but keen to offload the project to me as quickly as possible!
Has this changed? 
Only the last part, he turned out to be a really helpful guy before he became a close friend.
List three highlights from your relationship so far. 
That’s a tough one. There have been a lot of good times over the years
Has there been any low or difficult moments in your relationship? If yes, how have these been overcome? 
Not really for us as friends, but for him there have been tough times. I hope he feels I have been there for him when he needed me to be.
Do you have any differences of opinion, views or beliefs? If yes, what are they? 
Not significantly, he does sometimes lurch to the right of Attila the Hun, at which point we part a little!
List three things you have in common. 
A love of food, wine, and sport
Is there anything you're looking forward to with this person?
Describe this person with one word. 
Dependable
Write one sentence of something you would like to say to this person. 
I’m proud to have you as my friend.
#3
Name: Dave
Why have you chosen this person? 
We grew up together
Your relationship e.g. Mum, Cousin, friend, partner etc. : 
Friend
How long have you known one another? 
40 years
How did you first meet? 
We were in the Scouts together
What was your first thought/opinion on this person? 
I really can’t remember – it was too long ago!
Has this changed? 
N/A
List three highlights from your relationship so far. 
I think simply having stayed in touch all this time. Oh, and seeing him on the decks of HMS Invincible when he returned from duty in the Falklands conflict in 1982
Has there been any low or difficult moments in your relationship? If yes, how have these been overcome?
Not really. We didn’t have contact for quite some time, I think we sort of grew apart a bit when we were both married, but we reconnected when he got divorced and have been in contact again ever since
Do you have any differences of opinion, views or beliefs? If yes, what are they? 
None that I can think of.
List three things you have in common. 
Children we are proud of; a ’get on with it’ view on life
Is there anything you're looking forward to with this person? 
No
Describe this person with one word. 
Solid
Write one sentence of something you would like to say to this person. 
I’m sorry that we grew apart back then, but I’m glad we are still good friends.

#4
Name: Newton
Why have you chosen this person? 
Because he makes me laugh every time
Your relationship e.g. Mum, Cousin, friend, partner etc. : 
Friend
How long have you known one another? 
7 years
How did you first meet? 
Through a mutual friend
What was your first thought/opinion on this person? 
Funny, filthy sense of humour
Has this changed? 
Not a bit
List three highlights from your relationship so far. 
There have been too many funny moments to mention, we are like silly schoolboys when the craic gets going!
Has there been any low or difficult moments in your relationship? If yes, how have these been overcome? 
We had a big bust up a few years ago and stopped speaking. Crazy, two grown men having a lovers’ tiff! He was big enough to re-establish contact
Do you have any differences of opinion, views or beliefs? If yes, what are they? 
None that I can think of.
List three things you have in common. 
A guttural sense of humour; a sense of the ridiculous.; good food and wine
Is there anything you're looking forward to with this person? 
We have a boy’s weekend planned in San Sebastian in September – that is going to be just crazy!
Describe this person with one word. 
Loveable
Write one sentence of something you would like to say to this person. 
Mate, it’s a good look! (He’ll know what I mean)

#5
Name: Tony
Why have you chosen this person? 
Same answer as Newton, he is the third point on another triangle, with Newt and I
Your relationship e.g. Mum, Cousin, friend, partner etc. : 
Friend
How long have you known one another? 
7 years
How did you first meet? 
Through a mutual friend
What was your first thought/opinion on this person? 
How can somebody that old have such a dirty sense of humour?!
Has this changed?
He’s got older!
List three highlights from your relationship so far. 
Again, too many hilarious moments to mention.
Has there been any low or difficult moments in your relationship? If yes, how have these been overcome?
None that I can think of.
Do you have any differences of opinion, views or beliefs? If yes, what are they? 
None.
List three things you have in common. 
A wicked sense of humour, a sense of the ridiculous, BBQ'ing
Is there anything you're looking forward to with this person?
 He’ll be on the boy’s weekend in San Sebastian as well; I don’t think he knows quite what he’s in for…..
Describe this person with one word. 
Wrinkly!
Write one sentence of something you would like to say to this person. 
Tony, if there was a world championship for the double-entendre, you’d win it every time!